her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
