I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I need water and some morals
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
