i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
