Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize