It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
