We're like a lot better than the average bears
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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