He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
