Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
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