How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Someone shattered a urinal.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
i am craving dick and cupcakes
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
