her vagine was all disorganized.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
