You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
