Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
