After last night, I could never be a politician.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
