yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
