Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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