so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
