i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
