Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
