Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize