ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
