how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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