yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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