How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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