Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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