I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
