hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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