I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
