While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Randomize
