when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
