shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
