porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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