Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
