This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
