just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
