the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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