youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
