I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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