Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
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