I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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