Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
