im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
