Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize