I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
