Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
