this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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