oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
