whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
