Banned from zoo.
Again?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize