Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
