Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
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