She went from zero to smokin in five shots
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
