I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize