Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Threesome in a minivan. New low
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
