dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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