Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
