people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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