my mouth tastes like poor choices
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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