Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
