what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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