So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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