you have to choose: penises or morals?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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