i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Please don't give away my fajitas
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
