Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
