I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
