There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
