i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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