K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
