you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
